I met a friend this morning. After the usual hello-ing, he mentioned about his reading my articles in Ezine. (http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Damodar_Bhandarkar). However, he took up the matter of antioxidants, a myth I busted in one of my articles. He said he not only promoted of one of the organic brands very successfully but also he was personally using it and having good results. I usually do not argue, but yes, I try to convince if only the other listens and weighs my logic and rationality in my reasoning positively.
Now I would like to use this incident to explain how entering an argument effects one's relationships. And for those who are fresh and ready to enter real life career, this may help very much in self improvement.
What is an argument and why do you argue? Arguments basically prop up from difference of opinion and every opinion is formed on one's learning and beliefs. What does that mean? An argument is essentially a process of promoting one's ego. - "I am right, you are wrong; or I know, you don't!" Please do not get mixed up with learning process, which constitutes several debates, which are not arguments. Debates are part of learning process in which there is no dominant ego. In a true process of learning there is neither 'me' nor 'you'; there exists only a learning process.
So, how do you win an argument whenever you are spiked up for one? Arguments are always to win, aren't they? Do not argue! That is the only and best way to win an argument. Because, if you win the argument, you have lost a friend, a relationship or a moment of love. And if you lost, well you have lost the argument but not a friend, not a relationship. Your ego may get a temporary beating. So avoid arguing. But it is very difficult to avoid arguments because invariably you come to know of it when you have already entered it. That makes, it is very important to observe your words with alertness whenever you are in a conversation. And when you make it a habit to be alert, soon you will be able to see the invitation for an argument with good clarity. Just smile away and change the topic. Ah! you see? It now flashes why some of your friends constantly change the topic in a conversation, some of them with astonishing smoothness.
There are people who insist upon certain rubbish .... hydro-electricity is a process of converting water molecules into electrons; or some tricky beliefs such as 'tiger belongs to dog family'. Just smile, you may need them in some other way, in a field in which they are experts and you may need their help. And there are situations when people simply believe they know certain thing which in fact they don't. That was what happened with my good friend today. This friend of mine told me that the one brand he is marketing is truly organic and 100 % result oriented. I simply asked him if he has read my article. He said no, 'but I scanned it; it was good ...' ! I could smell, the situation was calling for an argument. I could also guess, he wanted to promote his new organic product to me. If you are in sales field you know it. I just told him to again read my article completely but need not tell me how he felt after reading it,..er.. if at all he read!
I have not lost my friend, have not hurt his feelings, he deals in quite some quality consumer products apart from genuine computer peripherals. I do need him whenever my computer hoodwinks me!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
We Create Future
"Samatatvam yoga ucchate" - a Vedic saying which means, having total attention to whatever you do, in itself is Yoga.
You have seen and enjoyed, perhaps many times, a trapeze artist performing to perfection in any circus show. Or, a magician doing card tricks so fast that you can hardly follow what he is doing. Perfection does not come easily, it needs rigorous practice, thousands of times over a period of time, sometimes even years together to make a public show of your perfection. Practice is basic and most important part of any form of art, be it music, painting or even your profession. Perhaps that is why doctors are called 'medical practitioners', maybe because the process of perfecting never stops in this profession. Practice makes an art perfect. Practice is yogic in nature. Unperturbed, total concentration of the mind is yoga.
The more I go deep into this phenomenon of practice - yoga -, the more clearly I see the process of creating future. Surprised?
You may not remember the way you learnt to take your first steps independent of support at the age of perhaps, 10 months to 18 months. But your parents and other elders do. You had fallen any number of times during that process of learning to walk on two legs and only then, finally after a number of falls it became perfect.
Have you observed a Hindu priest chanting 'Mantra' during a worship ritual?(pooja) Most of them having learnt it for a living without bothering to perfect their pronunciation of the ' Sanskrit' words, chant them so fast that if at a point their attention gets distracted, they have to start that particular 'shloka' from the beginning, being not able to proceed from that exact point where it got stopped. Practice without meaning was such in their past learning. It is only from a pre-registered point of reference in the mind that you can start and continue.
What all this suggest? In concentration of the mind lies the future. To concentrate and practice to perfection is to create a future. In the mind, in deep thoughts, depending on the past experiences and memories you decide certain things for tomorrow and you follow according to your plans and succeed in materialising your thoughts depending on your creating them to perfection by eliminating the failing strings of the past in your memory. If you walk today in the way and style you do, it is because you have perfected it to that style and way during the learning period, of course, balancing on the string provided by your genes. And that learning was based on acute need for a 'tomorrow'.
I believe a similar process takes place in the mind about your health. If your belief based on your past experiences and ensued judgements over time about the functioning of an organ, had perfected to a point of no change, and today it has to be functioning so; that functioning style of that organ cannot change. Is this not a process of creating future? You are living today in perfect accordance to your created beliefs and values of the past. And you will continue to live the same way tomorrow because today, in your mind, that perfected belief creates your tomorrow.
Only a RADICAL CHANGE in the basic thought process of the mind allows you to see WHAT IS WHAT AS IS WHAT , not the change just to change the pattern of thinking, a modification. It requires enormous energies to remove the whole gamut of thought process, which is possible by stretching the mind to its utmost capacity to UNDO THE DONE. Mind alone can do it; it is capable.
If you have read and understood what you have read so far in this blog, not with the meaning of the words but through the process of your thoughts, which actually is the fixed mould of your living, you are already in that state - SAMATATVAM YOGA UCHCHATE. You do not need any yoga teacher. You do not create future.
You have seen and enjoyed, perhaps many times, a trapeze artist performing to perfection in any circus show. Or, a magician doing card tricks so fast that you can hardly follow what he is doing. Perfection does not come easily, it needs rigorous practice, thousands of times over a period of time, sometimes even years together to make a public show of your perfection. Practice is basic and most important part of any form of art, be it music, painting or even your profession. Perhaps that is why doctors are called 'medical practitioners', maybe because the process of perfecting never stops in this profession. Practice makes an art perfect. Practice is yogic in nature. Unperturbed, total concentration of the mind is yoga.
The more I go deep into this phenomenon of practice - yoga -, the more clearly I see the process of creating future. Surprised?
You may not remember the way you learnt to take your first steps independent of support at the age of perhaps, 10 months to 18 months. But your parents and other elders do. You had fallen any number of times during that process of learning to walk on two legs and only then, finally after a number of falls it became perfect.
Have you observed a Hindu priest chanting 'Mantra' during a worship ritual?(pooja) Most of them having learnt it for a living without bothering to perfect their pronunciation of the ' Sanskrit' words, chant them so fast that if at a point their attention gets distracted, they have to start that particular 'shloka' from the beginning, being not able to proceed from that exact point where it got stopped. Practice without meaning was such in their past learning. It is only from a pre-registered point of reference in the mind that you can start and continue.
What all this suggest? In concentration of the mind lies the future. To concentrate and practice to perfection is to create a future. In the mind, in deep thoughts, depending on the past experiences and memories you decide certain things for tomorrow and you follow according to your plans and succeed in materialising your thoughts depending on your creating them to perfection by eliminating the failing strings of the past in your memory. If you walk today in the way and style you do, it is because you have perfected it to that style and way during the learning period, of course, balancing on the string provided by your genes. And that learning was based on acute need for a 'tomorrow'.
I believe a similar process takes place in the mind about your health. If your belief based on your past experiences and ensued judgements over time about the functioning of an organ, had perfected to a point of no change, and today it has to be functioning so; that functioning style of that organ cannot change. Is this not a process of creating future? You are living today in perfect accordance to your created beliefs and values of the past. And you will continue to live the same way tomorrow because today, in your mind, that perfected belief creates your tomorrow.
Only a RADICAL CHANGE in the basic thought process of the mind allows you to see WHAT IS WHAT AS IS WHAT , not the change just to change the pattern of thinking, a modification. It requires enormous energies to remove the whole gamut of thought process, which is possible by stretching the mind to its utmost capacity to UNDO THE DONE. Mind alone can do it; it is capable.
If you have read and understood what you have read so far in this blog, not with the meaning of the words but through the process of your thoughts, which actually is the fixed mould of your living, you are already in that state - SAMATATVAM YOGA UCHCHATE. You do not need any yoga teacher. You do not create future.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Medical Practice - A Noble Profession
Doctors Day was celebrated yesterday. I too conveyed my good wishes to my doctor friends yesterday. As so many Days come and go, one more Day has passed in the name of doctors. I think it is high time that sane thinking people should make an introspection regarding this noble profession of medical practice.
It is beyond doubt that there are many committed doctors who work in the field with sole purpose of alleviating human suffering through their chosen profession. Quite many of them have simply spurned lucrative jobs to fulfil their ambition to serve in rural India. But at the same time I deeply get depressed seeing the present scenario in the medical field in general. Greed has unquestioningly taken over moral and ethical standards in the noble profession.The entire movement has become a well oiled and inter-related big business conglomerate .
Let me try to put out a couple of diseases which have already taken deep roots in this profession consisting mainly of medical practice and drug manufacturing and distribution. If big names having multinational presence and matching turnover are luring practicing doctors by offering free participation in conferences Continuing Medical Education (CME) programs at exotic tourist places with free stay in luxury hotels, lesser companies with limited resources are offering high percentage margins to their local distributors to make promotions in their own convenient ways. There are many ways of gifting a doctor apart from offering 'cuts' pathological laboratories and medical distributors.
In the second week of April (this year) an out fit called Udaan Diabetes Care Foundation organized 'Regional Insulin Summit Meet - North' at Fortune Grace Hotel, Mussorie, where over 50 rooms were reserved. The room tariff of this luxurious hotel is Rs 5,500/- per night. Bangalore based Novo Nordisk, which sells insulin, picked the tab.....There are other examples. Piramal Healthcare allegedly took some 200 Diabetologists to Turkey in late January followed by a batch of Oncologists in mid - March to the same destination...... Lupin held an all expense paid promotional event at Indore in late February and reserved rooms in in three luxurious hotels for obliging doctors, mainly from Madhya Pradesh...
These are some newspaper reports, verbatim. Today nobody can escape from this seamy side of corrupt medical practice, which is taken up under Hippocratic Oath. Patients are made to undergo tests and surgeries they do not need; scans are being recommended when they are not needed; women are mercilessly made to undergo Caesarean Section when normal delivery is possible; healthy uteruses are removed by operation; and hips and knees are being replaced to provide business to orthopaedic device makers. These are but a few examples I am giving to show to what level the moral and ethical standards have fallen.
MCI (Medical Council of India - remember the recent revelation of its head taking bribe to the tune of several crores to grant recognition to new medical colleges?) has woken up to contain this menace. It thinks that the low salaries paid to medical doctors and teachers in private institutions is the reason for doctors starting private practice. Great! Does that mean that the Govt. medical institutions pay more? How ridiculous! The rot is more stinking there than anywhere else.
In all fairness and sincerity, I personally feel that we have reached a point of no return. The only possible thing seems to live with the rot. But heartily appreciate and encourage those who have remained true to their Hippocratic Oath and wish their tribe may grow.
It is beyond doubt that there are many committed doctors who work in the field with sole purpose of alleviating human suffering through their chosen profession. Quite many of them have simply spurned lucrative jobs to fulfil their ambition to serve in rural India. But at the same time I deeply get depressed seeing the present scenario in the medical field in general. Greed has unquestioningly taken over moral and ethical standards in the noble profession.The entire movement has become a well oiled and inter-related big business conglomerate .
Let me try to put out a couple of diseases which have already taken deep roots in this profession consisting mainly of medical practice and drug manufacturing and distribution. If big names having multinational presence and matching turnover are luring practicing doctors by offering free participation in conferences Continuing Medical Education (CME) programs at exotic tourist places with free stay in luxury hotels, lesser companies with limited resources are offering high percentage margins to their local distributors to make promotions in their own convenient ways. There are many ways of gifting a doctor apart from offering 'cuts' pathological laboratories and medical distributors.
In the second week of April (this year) an out fit called Udaan Diabetes Care Foundation organized 'Regional Insulin Summit Meet - North' at Fortune Grace Hotel, Mussorie, where over 50 rooms were reserved. The room tariff of this luxurious hotel is Rs 5,500/- per night. Bangalore based Novo Nordisk, which sells insulin, picked the tab.....There are other examples. Piramal Healthcare allegedly took some 200 Diabetologists to Turkey in late January followed by a batch of Oncologists in mid - March to the same destination...... Lupin held an all expense paid promotional event at Indore in late February and reserved rooms in in three luxurious hotels for obliging doctors, mainly from Madhya Pradesh...
These are some newspaper reports, verbatim. Today nobody can escape from this seamy side of corrupt medical practice, which is taken up under Hippocratic Oath. Patients are made to undergo tests and surgeries they do not need; scans are being recommended when they are not needed; women are mercilessly made to undergo Caesarean Section when normal delivery is possible; healthy uteruses are removed by operation; and hips and knees are being replaced to provide business to orthopaedic device makers. These are but a few examples I am giving to show to what level the moral and ethical standards have fallen.
MCI (Medical Council of India - remember the recent revelation of its head taking bribe to the tune of several crores to grant recognition to new medical colleges?) has woken up to contain this menace. It thinks that the low salaries paid to medical doctors and teachers in private institutions is the reason for doctors starting private practice. Great! Does that mean that the Govt. medical institutions pay more? How ridiculous! The rot is more stinking there than anywhere else.
In all fairness and sincerity, I personally feel that we have reached a point of no return. The only possible thing seems to live with the rot. But heartily appreciate and encourage those who have remained true to their Hippocratic Oath and wish their tribe may grow.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Mind Is A Monkey
There is an old adage in one of the South Indian languages - "Manasondu markata" - meaning mind is a monkey. I'll try to explain.
Every morning I promptly sit on my PC just before the stock market opens. I have on-line marketing service. Sometimes I play, sometimes buy or sell securities and some other times simply observe without taking part. Apart from passing my time after retirement from my business, I tend to deeply observe my own mind, its behavior, its thinking patterns, whenever I do whatsoever. I keenly watch a particular stock about which I have made adequate homework and decided to buy. The stock price is steadily coming down, of course with some ups in between, and just when I think it is the right time and price to buy, it rises a bit sharply. Miffed though, I tell myself, OK it'll comedown and immediately go to the other window in which global market movements are shown. Lo! European markets have rapidly turned into green from red. Come back to my online window, God, it has already shot up sharply, no question of buying now. I missed the bus! I lament, there is no chance of buying anything today, market has shot up and may fall anytime! Reason? - as always some good news of a concerned Govt. trying to lift its failing bankers with a package!
Most of the times stock markets all over world are highly sensitive to rumors and hype equally with real things that should effect the markets. Many of you might have had this experience similar to that of mine. The lost opportunities and lamenting over it!
It is not the intention to discuss markets here but I am only trying to give it as an example to demonstrate how loose, shaky and unstable the mind is. It is not only with money, matter and the markets, but with each and everything we value. Long back when I was still in college and was offered a short service commission in Indian Army, I scuttled it, of course, for valid reasons. Later I lamented. Again I was offered with that and this which, every time for good reasons I scuttled and later lamented. I even go into deep depressions thinking of so called great opportunities I missed in life. I have a serious problem, isn't it? And many of you too might.
Let me try to analyse my problems; it may help me.
The first and foremost thing I have to remember each time when I think of the past, is that it is a scientifically proved fact that the mind not only distorts memories over time but also creates an entirely new memory of which there was no event at all in the past! Unless I keep this fact firmly in my mind I am not going anywhere near to solve my problems.
OK, now why did I miss the bus? What were the valid reasons? Let me not try to give any example now. For, a real thing of the mind, there is nothing similar. So whatever example I try to equate with the behavior of the mind will only confuse. If there was a valid reason for the opportunity I missed, well it was in a good state of mind I rejected what was offered to me, in preference to what I continued with or opted for. If that is so...well, it was so! What does that mean now? There was no opportunity to miss at all in the past when the circumstances and accepted values were far different from what they are today. No question of missing anything in the past, right?
I don't know if you are getting at what I am trying to put out. A state of mind is eventual, temporary, solely dependent on a set of believed values in that precise moment. No state of mind is stable and permanent because every believed value takes its shape in accordance with the prevailing circumstance. It is ever changing with changing circumstances. That makes a thing of the past purely illusory. I hope I am getting at the core of my life, which is not in the past, not since when I was born, not to whom I was born; it is now.
If this everlasting fact of life is understood, I am sure, I can stand alone, away from my mind, see it clearly, analyse it and perhaps stop it permanently from interfering with the happiness of living. Got it? Can you see the monkey?
Every morning I promptly sit on my PC just before the stock market opens. I have on-line marketing service. Sometimes I play, sometimes buy or sell securities and some other times simply observe without taking part. Apart from passing my time after retirement from my business, I tend to deeply observe my own mind, its behavior, its thinking patterns, whenever I do whatsoever. I keenly watch a particular stock about which I have made adequate homework and decided to buy. The stock price is steadily coming down, of course with some ups in between, and just when I think it is the right time and price to buy, it rises a bit sharply. Miffed though, I tell myself, OK it'll comedown and immediately go to the other window in which global market movements are shown. Lo! European markets have rapidly turned into green from red. Come back to my online window, God, it has already shot up sharply, no question of buying now. I missed the bus! I lament, there is no chance of buying anything today, market has shot up and may fall anytime! Reason? - as always some good news of a concerned Govt. trying to lift its failing bankers with a package!
Most of the times stock markets all over world are highly sensitive to rumors and hype equally with real things that should effect the markets. Many of you might have had this experience similar to that of mine. The lost opportunities and lamenting over it!
It is not the intention to discuss markets here but I am only trying to give it as an example to demonstrate how loose, shaky and unstable the mind is. It is not only with money, matter and the markets, but with each and everything we value. Long back when I was still in college and was offered a short service commission in Indian Army, I scuttled it, of course, for valid reasons. Later I lamented. Again I was offered with that and this which, every time for good reasons I scuttled and later lamented. I even go into deep depressions thinking of so called great opportunities I missed in life. I have a serious problem, isn't it? And many of you too might.
Let me try to analyse my problems; it may help me.
The first and foremost thing I have to remember each time when I think of the past, is that it is a scientifically proved fact that the mind not only distorts memories over time but also creates an entirely new memory of which there was no event at all in the past! Unless I keep this fact firmly in my mind I am not going anywhere near to solve my problems.
OK, now why did I miss the bus? What were the valid reasons? Let me not try to give any example now. For, a real thing of the mind, there is nothing similar. So whatever example I try to equate with the behavior of the mind will only confuse. If there was a valid reason for the opportunity I missed, well it was in a good state of mind I rejected what was offered to me, in preference to what I continued with or opted for. If that is so...well, it was so! What does that mean now? There was no opportunity to miss at all in the past when the circumstances and accepted values were far different from what they are today. No question of missing anything in the past, right?
I don't know if you are getting at what I am trying to put out. A state of mind is eventual, temporary, solely dependent on a set of believed values in that precise moment. No state of mind is stable and permanent because every believed value takes its shape in accordance with the prevailing circumstance. It is ever changing with changing circumstances. That makes a thing of the past purely illusory. I hope I am getting at the core of my life, which is not in the past, not since when I was born, not to whom I was born; it is now.
If this everlasting fact of life is understood, I am sure, I can stand alone, away from my mind, see it clearly, analyse it and perhaps stop it permanently from interfering with the happiness of living. Got it? Can you see the monkey?
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Misuse of Law
Every civil society has a legal system. In fact it is the legal system, well formed, articulated and effectively implemented that keeps a society civilized. There maybe minor differences in legal systems of different countries depending upon the cultural, religious and traditional beliefs of a country. But the basic structure of the system is almost same in every country. Also the severity of punishments also may differ from country to country in the respective part of criminal code. There are also many loop holes in every legal system. And there are systems solely based on religious beliefs and dictates. Here I am interested in discussing the implications of dowry related laws in India, the benefits, and its ill effects or effective misuse by unscrupulous people.
As every Indian knows dowry is prevalent in every bit of diversity of various cultures, subcultures, castes and sub castes. The dowry is usually a negotiated sum of money or kind or both to be given to the bridegroom by the family of the bride in a marriage. But there are quite a few sub sects in which the giving and taking is other way round, IE., groom pays to the bride. This system of dowry in marriages has come to practice from time immemorial in India and I truly believe that this system was initiated and evolved with a good purpose. Though I cannot authoritatively confirm how it came into existence, I believe, it is because when the bride leaves her parental home, the groom has to set up a new family which requires means. And in a joint family the maintenance costs increase because addition of a new member as from that day of marriage onwards, the responsibility of maintenance of the girl ceases to be with her parents. Hence the system.
Today, as the basic purpose and cause has ceased to prevail upon every big and small cultural practice, the meaning of dowry system also has fallen by way side. Today dowry has become a means to display one's wealth accompanied with vulgar spending in the pomp and show of a marriage among the wealthy in every society prompting inferiority complex among not so well to do families. This has also given way to most unreasonable demands of dowry among middle and lower middle class families. Seeing the ill effects of dowry system, a law was enacted by the parliament totally banning the dowry practice, as long back as, I think, in the 1960's. But, alas! there was seldom any effect of this new law in cubing the ill effects of dowry, despite the law prescribes jail term to the guilty. I am yest to see even one case in which the defaulter is jailed!
As the basic purpose of dowry system is long lost, so is the purpose of law against dowry is also lost. In good times dowry goes on smoothly as if it is a legal custom without anybody cracking his head over it. But cases of harassments have started long back and is still growing by leaps and bounds. Greed has given way to murders since long. In almost 100% of the cases the casualty is the bride, sometimes even after a number of years of marriage and in many instances marriage has simply become a tool of extortion.
The government and the system of law has woken up to the crying demands of the people. But the right thinking people see there is a huge whole in the law itself. Laws sees the bride side kindly. Of course, the events that take place regularly and the investigations have shown that it should; the bride side should be heard with a pinch of sympathy. As a result of this, severe penalties have been handed down to grooms and and his accomplices if there was crime and homicide. All these activation of the law, it seems has not only failed to effectively reduce dowry related crimes, but also created a new problem in the society at large. Greedy unscrupulous elements in the society have taken this soft corner of the law to make a quick buck. They marry their daughter to a well to do groom only to later raise litigation quoting dowry harassment as the reason for demanding divorce. As law takes a lenient view on the girl's side, the judiciary, taking the financial abilities of the groom's family grants divorce with awards of hefty alimony!
Recently, a young friend of mine fell victim to this plot. He married about two years back, left his pregnant wife with her parents for delivery in a year, as per the prevailing custom. After a reasonable time after delivery, he went to his in laws to fetch the baby and mother back home. To his dismay, he was not only not allowed to see the child but also refused to send his wife back by her parents telling him that his parents were harassing their daughter for dowry! The poor chap surrendered all his pride and pleaded to send back his wife and child promising to set a separate home away from his parents. He even bought a new house for the purpose, of course with the permission of his sympathetic parents just to save the marriage of their only son. But no, his wife demanded divorce even when the boy offered to register the newly bought house in the name of his adamant wife. The case is in trial stage in the family court now. The boy, my friend is now living alone in the new house just to prove his point that he has separated from his parents. He has also resigned his well paying job. His parents have changed their will giving all rights of their self earned wealth to their only daughter. All this to negate the hefty alimony claimed by the wife.
I think such victimisation of good unsuspecting people is rampant, all because the law and judiciary is lenient to women. It is high time something is done before the already gone out of hands situation to bring within social control. In urban areas, the educated youngsters are opting for live-in arrangements, never thinking about marriage or raising a family of their own. Does it augur well to any civil society?
As every Indian knows dowry is prevalent in every bit of diversity of various cultures, subcultures, castes and sub castes. The dowry is usually a negotiated sum of money or kind or both to be given to the bridegroom by the family of the bride in a marriage. But there are quite a few sub sects in which the giving and taking is other way round, IE., groom pays to the bride. This system of dowry in marriages has come to practice from time immemorial in India and I truly believe that this system was initiated and evolved with a good purpose. Though I cannot authoritatively confirm how it came into existence, I believe, it is because when the bride leaves her parental home, the groom has to set up a new family which requires means. And in a joint family the maintenance costs increase because addition of a new member as from that day of marriage onwards, the responsibility of maintenance of the girl ceases to be with her parents. Hence the system.
Today, as the basic purpose and cause has ceased to prevail upon every big and small cultural practice, the meaning of dowry system also has fallen by way side. Today dowry has become a means to display one's wealth accompanied with vulgar spending in the pomp and show of a marriage among the wealthy in every society prompting inferiority complex among not so well to do families. This has also given way to most unreasonable demands of dowry among middle and lower middle class families. Seeing the ill effects of dowry system, a law was enacted by the parliament totally banning the dowry practice, as long back as, I think, in the 1960's. But, alas! there was seldom any effect of this new law in cubing the ill effects of dowry, despite the law prescribes jail term to the guilty. I am yest to see even one case in which the defaulter is jailed!
As the basic purpose of dowry system is long lost, so is the purpose of law against dowry is also lost. In good times dowry goes on smoothly as if it is a legal custom without anybody cracking his head over it. But cases of harassments have started long back and is still growing by leaps and bounds. Greed has given way to murders since long. In almost 100% of the cases the casualty is the bride, sometimes even after a number of years of marriage and in many instances marriage has simply become a tool of extortion.
The government and the system of law has woken up to the crying demands of the people. But the right thinking people see there is a huge whole in the law itself. Laws sees the bride side kindly. Of course, the events that take place regularly and the investigations have shown that it should; the bride side should be heard with a pinch of sympathy. As a result of this, severe penalties have been handed down to grooms and and his accomplices if there was crime and homicide. All these activation of the law, it seems has not only failed to effectively reduce dowry related crimes, but also created a new problem in the society at large. Greedy unscrupulous elements in the society have taken this soft corner of the law to make a quick buck. They marry their daughter to a well to do groom only to later raise litigation quoting dowry harassment as the reason for demanding divorce. As law takes a lenient view on the girl's side, the judiciary, taking the financial abilities of the groom's family grants divorce with awards of hefty alimony!
Recently, a young friend of mine fell victim to this plot. He married about two years back, left his pregnant wife with her parents for delivery in a year, as per the prevailing custom. After a reasonable time after delivery, he went to his in laws to fetch the baby and mother back home. To his dismay, he was not only not allowed to see the child but also refused to send his wife back by her parents telling him that his parents were harassing their daughter for dowry! The poor chap surrendered all his pride and pleaded to send back his wife and child promising to set a separate home away from his parents. He even bought a new house for the purpose, of course with the permission of his sympathetic parents just to save the marriage of their only son. But no, his wife demanded divorce even when the boy offered to register the newly bought house in the name of his adamant wife. The case is in trial stage in the family court now. The boy, my friend is now living alone in the new house just to prove his point that he has separated from his parents. He has also resigned his well paying job. His parents have changed their will giving all rights of their self earned wealth to their only daughter. All this to negate the hefty alimony claimed by the wife.
I think such victimisation of good unsuspecting people is rampant, all because the law and judiciary is lenient to women. It is high time something is done before the already gone out of hands situation to bring within social control. In urban areas, the educated youngsters are opting for live-in arrangements, never thinking about marriage or raising a family of their own. Does it augur well to any civil society?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
A Date With Ghost
This is a real life story, of course, with a little color to enhance the thrill and curiosity. Read on.
This happened in the 1970's when I was into motorcycle business. Promotional parties were regular. During one such party ghost talks featured. I had a lot of coffee planters as my customers and coffee plantations are situated mostly in deep forest areas, which adds lot of grist to ghost stories. A friend of mine, Kiran Kumar (name changed) over a couple of whisky told us that he had encountered a ghost. A couple of whiskies was just a preliminary dose to Kiran. So when I asked him if he was not yet drunk and what he said was crap, he fumed and said it was for real and threw a challenge that if anybody was interested, he would take him to the spot where he met the ghost, a female siren (Mohini). None of us pursued the matter and it was dropped there.
Next day when Kiran came to my showroom on business, - he was a general insurance agent, - I picked up the previous night's topic. He was serious and insisted that he had really encountered the Mohini near Bellur cross on Bangalore highway. The spot was very familiar to me as I was making motorcycle trips to Bangalore, a 195 Km. stretch, quite often those days. I was a rational thinker right from my younger days. So out curiosity and eager to bust the myth, I asked him if his invitation of previous night was still open. He said yes, but it should be a new moon night and we should be there at 12 midnight on stroke. I agreed, perhaps to his dismay.
We started in my motorcycle, an Enfield Bullet 350, the only four-stroke heaviest, most stable and trusted machine in those days, on the next new moon night. We started by around 10 in the night. Bellur Cross was a place almost exactly half way through to Bangalore. The name came because a side road led to Bellur a big town. Except a couple of coffee shops and tender coconut vendors, there was nothing else at the place. The entire stretch of about 20 Kms was totally lonely. The spot Kiran mentioned was about a couple of Kms from the cross and the road had a long curve of about a kilometer on a gradient. On the left was a small hillock with lots of big stones. The curve was around this hillock.
By the time we reached there, it was pitch dark. Kiran had already downed a couple of quarts of rum sitting on the rear, but I did not want to get influenced by alcohol when in such a sort of adventure. It was nearing 12 and I stopped and asked Kiran where to go. I felt he was already gripped by fear. Then he revealed that he was simply joking in the party and the next day wanted to fool me further; he did not encounter any ghost! OK, having made me come so far in the dead of the night, I asked him to follow me and I would show him Mohini, with whom he might enjoy all night! He started shivering because there were rumours and quite some stories taking rounds about a female ghost molesting truck drivers at the spot and the ghost lived among the cluster of huge stones. He begged me to leave him and go alone. Nothing doing and I practically dragged him to climb the hillock.
I had carried a powerful flash light. Also I tuned the bike to face the hillock and switched on the head light. Night traffic was very little those days and most of the night drivers avoided the time between 12 and 3 not only to take rest but also because of such superstitious beliefs. Slowly we reached the top. All the way Kiran was chanting some Anjaneya mantra to ward off ghosts! We sat on the top of a big stone and then I pulled out a bottle of whisky which I had kept in the pannier carrier of the bike and slid it in the flash light shoulder sling while starting the investigation. I cooed at the top of my voice and invited the ghosts, if existed any, to join me in the celebration party! We sat there discussing about ghost stories for two hours and when nothing happened, we started to climb down at two am. When we reached the road, my motorcycle battery had run down! I should have kept it on idling for keep the battery charging. Light of the flash gun was not enough to cruise. We had to wait for another half an hour when a night bus arrived. We flagged him to stop and explained him that I had some electrical problem causing headlight failure and would follow him till the next town came in about an hour. To follow him at 80 Kmph in that pitch darkness was the real adventure. I swore the mythical ghost and and my friend who had passed out on the rear seat resting his upper body on my back! That was real ghost on my back, I mused.
We reached home safely by 4 in the morning. Kiran's conspicuous absence in the next party gave me the freedom to explain the adventure to others!
Today the entire area at Bellur Cross of about 20 Sq Kms is having a Medical and Engineering college campus buzzing all day and night with students and new township people! I wonder where the Mohini is hiding!
This happened in the 1970's when I was into motorcycle business. Promotional parties were regular. During one such party ghost talks featured. I had a lot of coffee planters as my customers and coffee plantations are situated mostly in deep forest areas, which adds lot of grist to ghost stories. A friend of mine, Kiran Kumar (name changed) over a couple of whisky told us that he had encountered a ghost. A couple of whiskies was just a preliminary dose to Kiran. So when I asked him if he was not yet drunk and what he said was crap, he fumed and said it was for real and threw a challenge that if anybody was interested, he would take him to the spot where he met the ghost, a female siren (Mohini). None of us pursued the matter and it was dropped there.
Next day when Kiran came to my showroom on business, - he was a general insurance agent, - I picked up the previous night's topic. He was serious and insisted that he had really encountered the Mohini near Bellur cross on Bangalore highway. The spot was very familiar to me as I was making motorcycle trips to Bangalore, a 195 Km. stretch, quite often those days. I was a rational thinker right from my younger days. So out curiosity and eager to bust the myth, I asked him if his invitation of previous night was still open. He said yes, but it should be a new moon night and we should be there at 12 midnight on stroke. I agreed, perhaps to his dismay.
We started in my motorcycle, an Enfield Bullet 350, the only four-stroke heaviest, most stable and trusted machine in those days, on the next new moon night. We started by around 10 in the night. Bellur Cross was a place almost exactly half way through to Bangalore. The name came because a side road led to Bellur a big town. Except a couple of coffee shops and tender coconut vendors, there was nothing else at the place. The entire stretch of about 20 Kms was totally lonely. The spot Kiran mentioned was about a couple of Kms from the cross and the road had a long curve of about a kilometer on a gradient. On the left was a small hillock with lots of big stones. The curve was around this hillock.
By the time we reached there, it was pitch dark. Kiran had already downed a couple of quarts of rum sitting on the rear, but I did not want to get influenced by alcohol when in such a sort of adventure. It was nearing 12 and I stopped and asked Kiran where to go. I felt he was already gripped by fear. Then he revealed that he was simply joking in the party and the next day wanted to fool me further; he did not encounter any ghost! OK, having made me come so far in the dead of the night, I asked him to follow me and I would show him Mohini, with whom he might enjoy all night! He started shivering because there were rumours and quite some stories taking rounds about a female ghost molesting truck drivers at the spot and the ghost lived among the cluster of huge stones. He begged me to leave him and go alone. Nothing doing and I practically dragged him to climb the hillock.
I had carried a powerful flash light. Also I tuned the bike to face the hillock and switched on the head light. Night traffic was very little those days and most of the night drivers avoided the time between 12 and 3 not only to take rest but also because of such superstitious beliefs. Slowly we reached the top. All the way Kiran was chanting some Anjaneya mantra to ward off ghosts! We sat on the top of a big stone and then I pulled out a bottle of whisky which I had kept in the pannier carrier of the bike and slid it in the flash light shoulder sling while starting the investigation. I cooed at the top of my voice and invited the ghosts, if existed any, to join me in the celebration party! We sat there discussing about ghost stories for two hours and when nothing happened, we started to climb down at two am. When we reached the road, my motorcycle battery had run down! I should have kept it on idling for keep the battery charging. Light of the flash gun was not enough to cruise. We had to wait for another half an hour when a night bus arrived. We flagged him to stop and explained him that I had some electrical problem causing headlight failure and would follow him till the next town came in about an hour. To follow him at 80 Kmph in that pitch darkness was the real adventure. I swore the mythical ghost and and my friend who had passed out on the rear seat resting his upper body on my back! That was real ghost on my back, I mused.
We reached home safely by 4 in the morning. Kiran's conspicuous absence in the next party gave me the freedom to explain the adventure to others!
Today the entire area at Bellur Cross of about 20 Sq Kms is having a Medical and Engineering college campus buzzing all day and night with students and new township people! I wonder where the Mohini is hiding!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Stupid Actvism
Recently Bangalore City authorities have passed a new bye law regarding home pets. Licencing to keep dogs and other pets has become more stringent now, the Corporation having tried to make the law at par with International standards. Good. But what about a few lakhs of stray dogs. Of course, the authorities did try to control them. When they started snaring the street dogs after promptly giving notice to the pet lovers not to allow their dogs to roam freely on the roads during the operations. But soon, there was a big hue and cry from animal rights activists. The pressure came on the government so much that it had to instruct the corporation authorities to not kill the stray dogs. And for the control of stray dogs breeding, the activists suggested to catch male dogs, sterilise and immunise them and leave! The corporation followed the suggestion. Any Tom, Dick and Harry can imagine the rate of success of this program.
Dog bites are ample in slum areas. There were and still are many dog bite deaths because of either negligence on the part of poverty stricken slum dwellers or sheer lack of enough stock of the vaccine with the Veterinary department. Sometime back a hoard of about 20 street dogs attacked a 10 year old boy returning from school and killed the boy in broad daylight in full view of a few onlookers who were afraid to scare away the dogs! However they did finally manage to drive away the dogs when more people gathered, but it proved too late because the boy died on way to hospital.
It is reported that scores of dog bite deaths take place in Bangalore every year. Yet the animal rights activists have not softened their stance against eradication of street dogs. What kind of activism is that? I call it stupidity if not megalomania, because it is very clear that they respect the rights of street dogs more than poor slum dwelling children.
I agree, there should be some kind of protection to animals, perhaps because, man is the only animal that kills others without purpose or provocation! But in Indian conditions, the activism, which should be for a noble cause, totally gets misplaced. This kind of activism goes very successfully in developed countries like the West and Australia. In fact I understand that in Australia Rabies is totally eradicated. Slum dwelling is as little as nil and above all people have far better awareness. I feel the percentage of true lovers of animals among activists is very low and a great majority of them indulge in activism for free publicity and such other benefits; what do you say?
Dog bites are ample in slum areas. There were and still are many dog bite deaths because of either negligence on the part of poverty stricken slum dwellers or sheer lack of enough stock of the vaccine with the Veterinary department. Sometime back a hoard of about 20 street dogs attacked a 10 year old boy returning from school and killed the boy in broad daylight in full view of a few onlookers who were afraid to scare away the dogs! However they did finally manage to drive away the dogs when more people gathered, but it proved too late because the boy died on way to hospital.
It is reported that scores of dog bite deaths take place in Bangalore every year. Yet the animal rights activists have not softened their stance against eradication of street dogs. What kind of activism is that? I call it stupidity if not megalomania, because it is very clear that they respect the rights of street dogs more than poor slum dwelling children.
I agree, there should be some kind of protection to animals, perhaps because, man is the only animal that kills others without purpose or provocation! But in Indian conditions, the activism, which should be for a noble cause, totally gets misplaced. This kind of activism goes very successfully in developed countries like the West and Australia. In fact I understand that in Australia Rabies is totally eradicated. Slum dwelling is as little as nil and above all people have far better awareness. I feel the percentage of true lovers of animals among activists is very low and a great majority of them indulge in activism for free publicity and such other benefits; what do you say?
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