According to J.Krishnamurti, the reason for every human misery is the attitude that always says 'I am this; I want to be that'. I would like to go a little further.
Both I am this and I want to be that are illusions. What do I mean by this? How do I know myself before I say this? I know myself as a result of collective opinion by various people around me. I am kind hearted man, because I cared to help you when you were in need despite myself being in much more troubles. I am kind hearted to my daughter because I took out quality time to coach her on the subject of her school Essay Competition, in which she subsequently won first prize. I am kind hearted because I regularly donate blood to the local Blood Bank. This is but only one aspect of recognising 'me' as me from the people around. And so is the whole of me is recognised through various people in various situations over time. I also change with time. Pride enters my head and I slowly take it for granted that I am a virtuous man! I become arrogant.Social interactions mixed with religious and cultural influences shapes 'me'. Is not that the way I know myself? Is there any other way to know myself without a single bit of information from outside me? Try it!
Basically this 'me' itself is given to me, with a name, with a personal identification mark such as son of so and so. This information on my paternity is given to me by my mother. Who else can be a better informer than my mother to get information about my paternity? And the funny thing is the information about my mother also is given to me by herself, which I have no option but to believe! So the whole gamut of 'me' stands on belief, is it not? And belief is not always the truth. So right from its basics, this 'me' is built on beliefs, right? So I am this is an illusion; and I want to be that is speculation. That precisely is what causes human miseries. All because every human value is dictated by society, culture and religion irrespective of its veracity. Is there any value independent of external influence? I think in understanding this core of human life, lies true happiness; the happiness that is not defined by my society or culture.